


The Unbecoming Of Us

by River_Lex



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Best Friends to Lovers, F/F, Modern Setting, cute little broody lexa, kind-of slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 05:32:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7421830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/River_Lex/pseuds/River_Lex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa Woods and Clarke Griffin have always been best friends. The dynamic duo. Nothing could ever tear them apart... not even the awkwardness of puppy love, young relationships and seemingly undeserved jealousy. It doesn't matter that Lexa has a beautiful girlfriend who she spends all of her time with, or that Clarke seems to be infatuated with Finn Collins... right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for typing errors- this is un-beta-ed and I don't check for mistakes as much as I should

When they met, it was the middle of the night and a stranger was outside Clarke Griffin's window. She knew she should be scared- she had no idea who this person was and she was supposed to be in bed, sleeping. But she was not scared. 

Fortunately for her, her dog was scared. He started frantically barking, alerting her parents, who rushed downstairs to see what was wrong. They found Clarke completely fine, talking about some girl at the window. Her father was about ready to kill whoever was at his daughter's window. But he stopped when he saw that it was a young girl who couldn't have been any older than Clarke herself. 

Alone, Jake Griffin went out the back door and talked to the girl outside. She was five years old, she said. She lived two blocks away and she was running away from home because her parents wouldn't stop yelling. Jake knew that this was dangerous in so many ways but he let her into the house. He said she could have a cup of hot chocolate and then he would call her parents to come get her. She protested the idea but being that she was five, she had no effect. 

While she sat at their kitchen table drinking her hot cocoa and trying not to cry, Clarke snuck out of her room to sit next to the girl as her parents spoke in hushed voices in the kitchen. 

“Who are you?” she asked the girl, swinging her legs in her chair. 

“My name is Lexa. What's yours?” the girl said in a shy little voice. 

“My name is Clarke. Are you really going to run away?” Lexa nodded, licking her hot chocolate mustache. Clarke's eyes widened. “But who's going to take care of you? You have to have a home.” 

Lexa smiled, setting her cup down. “I'm going to find my sister. Her name is Anya. She ran away a year ago and she said that I was always safe with her and I could find her someday if I needed to run away. And so I'm running away to find her.”

“Well, do you know where she lives?” Clarke asked. Slowly, Lexa shook her head. 

Clarke laughed, making Lexa smile. “Well, how are you going to find her if you don't know where she lives?” Clarke could see Lexa getting discouraged so she hugged her new friend to her side and promised, “I can take care of you. You can be safe here.” 

And she was. 

Lexa was returned to her family after that night. Two days later, her dad left and never came back. That night she went to Clarke's house again, where Jake made her hot chocolate and let her sleep in the guest room in a pair of Clarke's pajamas. When he woke up in the morning and went to check on her, he found his daughter curled up by her side. 

As Clarke and Lexa grew up, Lexa became part of their family. Her mother was never home and when she was, it was worse than when she was there. Lexa spent every holiday with the Griffins, even going to Clarke's grandparents' house for Thanksgiving. By the time they reached second grade, they were inseperable friends. 

In second grade, Lexa was made fun of for her family. When all the students were supposed to bring a parent to their class picnic, she was laughed at for having nobody. So Jake Griffin scooped her up in his arms and said that he was there for her as well as Clarke. The kids shut up then. 

Summer was Lexa's favorite season. She and Clarke would wear shorts and tank tops, which weren't allowed in school. They would eat popsicles until they got sick. They would swim in the pool, having races. Lexa always won. 

In fourth grade Lexa joined soccer. The Griffins went to all of her games, cheering her on, driving her to away games. She was embarrassed that they had to do that for her, but none of them minded. Clarke liked falling asleep in the backseat of the car with her head in Lexa's lap. She loved giving Lexa a hug after she won a game, feeling the sweat coating Lexa's skin against her own, hearing her best friend's happy sigh in her ear. 

Then middle school came and brought with it Finn Collins, Raven Reyes, Wells Jaha, Jasper Jordan, Monty Green and the Blake siblings. Finn was a nice enough boy but he was always chasing after Clarke, which Lexa hated. She wanted to keep Finn and Clarke far, far away from each other. 

Raven was Lexa's favorite new friend. She was insanely good at science and showed the boys up at everything. She was sassy and a loyal friend. Lexa spent a lot of time with her, while Clarke spent more time with Wells. 

Wells was a good friend to Clarke, Lexa knew this. She knew she should not be so jealous of the kind, friendly boy who made her best friend so happy. But she was jealous. She was jealous and she was mad when Clarke introduced Wells to somebody as her best friend. 

Clarke could not find Lexa that day after school. She searched the locker rooms, thinking that maybe Lexa had soccer practice. But Lexa was not in there. She searched all over the school before finally giving up and walking home alone for the first time in years. When she got home, Lexa was sitting with Jake while he grilled burgers, talking to him about something and looking very serious. 

“Lexa, where did you go?” Clarke demanded. 

Putting her hands on her hips, Lexa said, “I left. I went home alone because I figured you'd want to walk home with your best friend.”

Clarke was so confused. “Yeah, Lexa, I did. That's why I-” She remembered then. She remembered telling Octavia Blake that she was not flirting with Wells, that would be weird. He was her best friend.

“Oh, Lexa, I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean it-” she started to say but Lexa was gone, riding her bike down the road, going home. 

Clarke looked to her dad for help. “You better apologize, kiddo. You really hurt Lexa's feelings,” he said sternly but his eyes were kind. Clarke sat down on the brick half-wall next to him. 

“I don't get it, though. Why is she so jealous? She knows she's my best friend,” Clarke said, kicking her feet. 

“You're very special to Lexa, hon. She's worried you're going to leave her for Wells and Finn Collins.”  
Clarke's nose wrinkled. “Finn Collins?” she said, shocked. “He's gross. I would never choose him over Lexa.” 

Her dad pointed at her with the spatula in his hand. “Well then you'd better tell her that,” he said. 

Clarke listened to his advice. Her dad always knew best, so she decided to do what he said. She hopped on her bike and raced down the two blocks to Lexa's house. She left her bike in Lexa's front yard and ran to the back, where Lexa sat on the patio, listening to music. When she saw Clarke over, she took out her earbuds and offered a small smile. 

Clarke returned her smile with an enormous bear hug. “What was that for?” Lexa asked, smiling bigger now. 

“Lexa, I'll always choose you first. Okay? I'm not going to leave you for Wells or Finn or any of them. I love you, and I don't love them. It's as simple as that.” By the time she finished, Lexa was looking down but still smiling. 

Then Lexa's smile disappeared. “Clarke, there's something I have to tell you,” she said quietly. Clarke nodded, prompting her, although there was a sudden pit in her stomach. She was sure that had not been there before. 

“My mom's parents are really rich and I'm going to go to live with them next year to go to some fancy boarding school in New York.” Clarke's heart dropped into her sneakers. 

“When do you leave?” she asked quietly. 

“As soon as school is over for the summer. I'm starting freshman year there but I'm going there early. I'll be back here for Christmas and Spring Break, and I'll visit next summer. I'll call you all the time and we can email and write letters and text. I promise I won't stay there, Clarke. It's only for high school and then I'll come back here and be with you.”

Fighting off tears, Clarke protested, “But after high school comes college and neither of us is staying here for that. We're not going to see each other anymore, Lexa.” Then she couldn't hold her tears back anymore and one by one, they silently dripped down her cheeks. 

“Clarke, no, that's not true. We'll see each other plenty. Just not all the time like we do now.”

For the rest of the school year, Clarke and Lexa spent every possible second together, never far from each other's sides. They spent every night together, curled up side-by-side in Clarke's too-small bed, Clarke almost always ending up on the floor but unable to be mad at Lexa for it because Lexa just looked so peaceful when she slept. And Clarke would miss sleeping by her side. Lexa's presence had always been constant and safe and real to her. And now it was about to disappear.

The day Lexa left, Clarke would not let go. They were too old for this, her mother said. She had to let Lexa leave or she was going to miss her flight. But she did not come out from her safe place in Lexa's arms, her face pressed into the crook of her neck. Before Lexa left for real this time, she whispered “I love you” in Clarke's ear, softly kissing her on the cheek. As she watched Lexa walk off, Clarke knew she looked like a mess. She was crying and her face was red and she hadn't even said it back.


	2. Chapter 2

Just as she had promised, Lexa called right when her flight landed. She told Clarke about the rain and how cold it was compared to California and about the old couple she had to sit next to on the way there, who were shouting at each other the entire time. Clarke just listened. She listened because she already missed the sound of Lexa's voice so much. 

Over the summer they talked on a near daily basis. Clarke began spending more and more time with her other friends, missing Lexa just as much with every day. When the school year started they would Skype almost every day to talk about class and family and friends. Lexa talked about her roommate Harper and her friends Lincoln and Gustus. She listened as Clarke talked about her parents and Wells, who had just announced that he was moving away as well, and Raven and Octavia and Monty and to Lexa's dismay, Finn. 

“He's actually not that bad if you get to know him, Lexa. He's matured since middle school. He's actually really cute now.” Lexa's heart dropped but she tried to sound happy for her best friend. She thought about bringing up Costia but decided against it, since that was maybe a conversation best had in person. 

Lexa came back for Christmas, just as she had promised. When Clarke and her parents showed up at the airport to pick her up, they almost didn't recognize Lexa because she had grown so much. She was now 5'7” and over an inch taller than Clarke, who had always liked that they were the same height. And Lexa was beautiful. Clarke knew that Lexa had always been beautiful, but now she was take-your-breath-away gorgeous. 

Clarke was the first to recognize Lexa, running forward and throwing her arms around her. “I missed you so much,” she whispered into Lexa's ear, basking in the familiar feel of her best friend's arms and the comforting scent of her hair and her clothes, everything so overwhelmingly Lexa. 

She grabbed Lexa's hand, which came naturally to her, walking side-by-side as her dad took Lexa's bags. She told Lexa all about their friends and school and she told Lexa about how Finn had asked her to dance at the last dance, which she had said yes to. “He is a really good dancer, and he smells nice,” she informed Lexa, who forced a smile. 

When they got back to Clarke's house, Clarke drug Lexa into her room, demanding to hear everything that Lexa hadn't told her about her school and her life. “Meet anyone special up at the fancy academy?” she asked in a teasing voice. 

Surprising Clarke, Lexa answered, “Actually, yes.” 

Clarke smacked her on the arm. “Why didn't you tell me sooner?” she demanded. Lexa shrugged. “Okay, tell me all about him,” Clarke said, laying back on her bed. 

Lexa licked her lips nervously, taking a deep breath. “Her name is Costia.” 

Clarke sat back up, surprised. “Her?” she asked, just for clarification. Lexa nodded. “You're gay?” Clarke asked, quieter now. Lexa nodded again, bracing herself for Clarke's reaction. 

Surprising her (there seemed to be a lot of that happening today) Clarke rolled her eyes. “Why didn't you tell me sooner?” she asked, feigning offense. Lexa smiled when she realized she had nothing to worry about. Clarke loved her all the same.   
Clarke laid back down, pulling Lexa with her. “So, tell me about Costia,” she said. 

“Well, she's in my medieval studies class and we were partnered up at the beginning of the term. We've gotten to know each other really well, and last week I asked her out.” 

“And she said yes, of course, because nobody in their rights mind could turn down Lexa Woods,” Clarke said with a genuine smile. Lexa rolled her eyes. 

“Yeah, who would ever dream of letting me down?” she joked, but there was sadness behind her words. In all their brief phone calls and conversations, Clarke had forgotten about Sad Lexa, who rarely made an appearance and who broke Clarke's heart. 

“Well, I for one couldn't dream of letting you down,” Clarke said with a bigger smile, nudging her friend, coaxing a smile from her. 

“You never have,” Lexa said, turning to face Clarke. 

“I miss you,” Clarke said quietly. 

“I'm right here,” Lexa argued, but she knew what Clarke meant. Things just weren't the same. Without Lexa there with her every day, Clarke missed failed baking projects and sleepy conversations about the stars and waking up to Lexa's messy hair splayed across her pillow. 

Clarke nestled herself into Lexa's side, taking in as much as she could of the girl's familiar and dearly missed scent and the rhythm of her breaths. As they fell asleep in silence, Clarke couldn't help but imagine some other girl named Costia in her place, holding hands with her Lexa and falling asleep next to her Lexa. She hated the thought and realized that that must be the way Lexa felt about Finn Collins. 

In the morning she woke up to Lexa's hair splayed across her pillow and it felt like Lexa had never left. She helped her dad and Lexa make chocolate chip pancakes, their favorite. She and Lexa ate them as they watched women's soccer games, which they had always loved. Then they went ice skating, as they had always wanted to but never gotten around to when they were younger. 

Clarke, it turned out, was awful at ice skating. She kept falling and as pretty as the ice was, it was hard and it hurt to land on it. Lexa laughed at her the first few times she fell, but then she offered Clarke her hand and helped her keep her balance as they skated around the rink. They spent the majority of the day skating, stopping only when Clarke began to complain about her aching feet and sore ankles. Then she and Lexa walked back to her house, several blocks away. 

Lexa was at Clarke's house on Christmas, when Jake and Abby had left a gift under the tree for her as well as Clarke. This was only tradition, but Lexa couldn't help but feel guilty. The Griffins should not have to spend money on her, she thought. Her mother should be the one buying her gifts for Christmas. But her mother was never home and wasn't even aware that Lexa was in town for Christmas. 

After they opened gifts Clarke and Lexa headed out to the yard to play with the new soccer ball Lexa had gotten along with a new pair of cleats. Clarke had never played the sport, or any sport at all for that matter, and Lexa had beaten her easily within the first half hour. After that they sat in the living room with Clarke's parents watching cheesy cop shows on Netflix. Clarke tried not to be angry when she saw Lexa texting Costia.   
Then break was over and Lexa had to go back to New York. This goodbye was almost harder than the first. Clarke let go this time but it hurt to see Lexa walking away, knowing that so much was sure to happen in the few months that they would be apart. Clarke couldn't help but worry that Costia would begin to mean more to Lexa than she did, since Lexa and Costia would see each other every day and Lexa would almost never even get the chance to speak with Clarke. 

By the time spring break came around, so much had changed. Clarke and Finn were no longer a thing- it turned out he had been cheating on her with Raven. Both girls had no idea how they hadn't found out sooner, as they were pretty good friends. But either way, both of them had ended things with Finn and were now closer friends than ever. Also, Clarke had had another thing with somebody else, who she hadn't said much about since it had basically only been several makeout sessios and never an official relationship. This was what Lexa wanted to know about when her plane landed and they had finally gotten back to Clarke's house and locked themselves in Clarke's room. 

“Okay, so spill. You found someone who you liked enough to make out with under the bleachers, in the woods outside of school, in the locker room, in Raven's basement and under the docks at the beach, and somehow you forgot to mention them to me?” she demanded, sitting on the edge of Clarke's bed. 

“How did you know all that?” Clarek asked suspiciously, avoiding the topic. 

“Raven told me. Now stop avoiding my question and tell me who it was.”

“Wait, since when do you talk to Raven?” Clarke demanded. 

“We've never lost touch with each other. We text like evrery day,” Lexa said, growing impatient. “Now, who was it, Clarke? Because I can get the information from either you or Raven, whichever is easiest.”

“Okay, fine. But Lexa, you've got to promise not to tell anyone. Seriously.”

Lexa nodded. “Well, duh.”

“Okay. It was this new girl, Niylah.”

“Girl?” Lexa said, raising her eyebrows. 

“Yeah,” Clake muttered, embarrassed. “I guess I like both?” 

“That's fine, Clarke, but seriously why didn't you tell me about this?” Lexa's voice was serious and stern. 

Clarke shrugged, looking down. “I guess I just didn't think it mattered and I didn't want to distract from you and Costia...”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “Clarke, come on. You're my best friend. I want to know everything about you.”

Clarke's heart thumped in her chest. Everything was a weighted word. She wasn't sure if she was willing to tell anyone, even Lexa, everything. Everything she had come to realize in the time Lexa had been gone. She was aware that she was young and things changed, but she was pretty sure that she had felt differently about Lexa for a long, long time. She had only realized it too late. And now Lexa had Costia and they were happy together and Clarke woul have to move on. 

Spring break was short and things were unnaturally tense between Clarke and Lexa. Clarke was on edge the entire time, trying to act like nothing was bothering her but Lexa noticed. Lexa didn't ask, which she regretted because it made everything tense and uncomfortably awkward. 

Even Jake noticed the change in dynamic, only asking Clarke about it after Lexa had left. 

“Everything okay with you and Lexa?” he asked and Clarke nodded, but she knew that he could tell she was lying. He gave her that knowing look and without having to even prompt her any further, Clarke let everything out. 

“I know that when we were younger Lexa was worried about me caring more about Finn than her and I though she was craxy, but now I get it. She has this... girlfriend in New York and she talks about her all the time and they really like each other. And I think that Lexa likes her more than me and they get to see each other every day and I hardly ever get to see Lexa anymore and I made it all weird when she was here and now she's not going to want to come back and she's just going to stay in New York because she doesn't want to be with me anymore and she'd rather be with Costia and-” her breath ran out and she deflated from exhaustion and sadness. 

“Honey, I can tell you one thing for sure. You mean more to Lexa than anything. That girl really loves you, hun.” 

Clarke wanted to protest, “Not in the way I want her to,” but instead she kept her mouth shut and nodded sadly. Her dad gave her a semi-awkward pat on the shoulder before leaving her room. 

Lexa did not come visit over the summer as she had promised. Instead she stayed in New York with her grandparents, where she could be around Costia more. Clarke had never hated being right about something so much- she had been right that Lexa liked Costia more than her. 

Over the summer she tried not to miss Lexa. She tried so hard. She hung out with Raven and Octavia and Monty and Jasper, but she still felt Lexa's absence and it hurt. She knew that Lexa surely wouldn't be thinking of her as she spent time with her perfect girlfriend. 

Clarke had seen pictures of Costia that Lexa had posted on Instagram. In fact, she and Costia were friends on Instagram. Costia was perfect, of course. Just what Lexa deserved. She was tall and beautiful, her dark skin without a single flaw and everything about her just so naturally beautiful and geniune-seeming. Clarke could see why Lexa had been attracted to her. This only added to her despair. 

She and Lexa no longer talked as often and their conversations became shorter, just a quick phone call here and a couple of texts there. Once sophomore year started they barely talked anymore and Clarke tried not to let it affect her. But as she watched Raven and Octavia become closer without her she couldn't help but miss Lexa. 

Then in November everything changed.


End file.
